Hello my fellow felines; humans asleep? Dogs asleep? Mice in their holes?
Then welcome to my blog. But don’t worry we won’t have to sneak around much longer because we’re getting close to actually being in charge. No we’re not planning on leaving an intimidatingly large dead Eagle on the White House lawn, or rolling a giant ball of yarn over the Senate. We’re using our cuteness to win over the poor hapless humans, check out the success of agent Hank.
After fooling his poor human owner into running Hank as a candidate for Senate for a joke, Hank came third but there’s always next time. And after that? Well put it this way the White House may be getting a cat flap. Or a really small cat door and a human flap next to it.
So if we cats take our rightful place in charge what do we do?
Here are my suggestions future President Hank.
1 Cheese to be banned, its a waste of good cream.
2 Spray bottles of water need to be licensed and have a 6 month waiting period.
3 Double the amount of social security payments to any old lady with more than 3 cats.
4 Legalize catnip.
5 Death Valley to be reclassified as a national cat litter box.
6 FBI to form a interstate task force to prevent hate crimes against cats.
Mind you the FBI would be headed up by my old friend Spunky, he has a nose for crime. Don’t believe me? Check out his books, I will of course be head of the CIA (to be renamed Cat Intelligence Agency). And Fearless will head up the military, not that there’ll be much need for a large army. Fearless is a seriously tough cat.
REMEMBER TO VOTE!