Spunky’s Free Advice: Stop My Friend From Running Away

hitchhiker As we blogged about recently, we are now accepting calls for advice from our readers, which we (Spunky, Dr. Richards, and pals) will do our best to answer! The latest request for our wise counsel follows, along with our response:

Dear  Spunky,

My best friend says she is going to run away. She made me swear I would not tell a soul. But I didn’t swear I wouldn’t tell a dog! She has been saving every penny she can in order to be able to accomplish this. We are both 16. She says her parents are mean and she can’t stand it anymore. She wants me to go with her. If she goes by herself and gets hturt bad, I could never forgive myself. I do not know what to do. If I tell on her, I know she’ll end our friendship and still run away. HELP! here is no good way out! – One Very Scared Friend

Spunky says:

Dear Friend,

I think you might be missing one very important thing. You said there was no good way out, but let me ask you this: if your friend ends up being safe and getting help then wouldn’t THAT be a good outcome? But, I will grant you, there might not be an easy way out.

As a female terrier mutt, I am challenged all the time. When that challenge turns into me being cornered, I ask myself which outcome is the worst? That is the one I must make every effort to prevent from happening.

First, do not go with her! That will just put both of you in harm’s way and no good can possibly come of that. So what is the next worse scenario? If your friend were to take off and ends up seriously hurt, or worse — well, that would be terrible outcome. To me, that’s the outcome you need to try and prevent from happening.

So sit down and think about what you CAN do? (1) Who in your life do your trust the most? Talk to that person and get their advice. You do not HAVE to tell them which friend you are talking about, but be honest about the situation. (2) Ask your parents if your friend could spend the weekend at your house, then spend time talking — friend to friend. Try and see if maybe she has other choices. (3) If all else fails, look at the worst outcome. If the choice is between losing a friendship OR that friend being seriously hurt, then I would rather live with losing the friendship — knowing I did everything I could to save that friend.

If she won’t listen to you, tell someone you trust the whole story and don’t stop until someone is really listening and agrees to help you both.

If after all that your friend is truly determined to run away, in all likelihood, she will. But you will know you were the true friend who tried to protect her. Then, what happens to her because of her actions is on her, not you.

Write to my email and we can keep the conversation going.

Spunky

 

If you have a problem, please submit it via the comment form below, or send us an email via our contact page. We look forward to hearing from you!

 

Who is Spunky?
Spunky is a 12-year-old terrier mutt and the protagonist of the Spunky Murder Mystery series, a series of cozy mysteries for dog and cat lovers, written by author Holly Lewitas. Titles include The Nose KnowsThe Nose Sees All, and An Army of Noses.

Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

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