|The sad cat cafe|
|Greetings my fellow felines! Now before you carry on reading; have you checked if your humans are asleep? Are you sure? I’m looking at you Ginger Gerry, you nearly got caught twice googling the world’s largest ball of yard. Remember cat nip and internet don’t mix.Now this week I’ve been alarmed by the latest development from the world of humans. Cat cafes!
So the humans go to one of these cafes and order some food or those weird hot drinks they like. And then we parade in front of them and they get to touch our beautiful fur. Hey, do they even wash their hands first? They can get us all sticky and what if one of them has been eating a sandwich with tofu in it and we’ve got to lick that stuff off our fur. YUCK!
Now when I think back to the days when I was a spy and an international cat of mystery, this cafe activity would have been a marvelous opportunity. It would have offered me a chance to spy on the humans and unobtrusively share secrets with my fellow spy cats. But now it’s just seems wrong, I mean if you sauntered into a regular cafe and tried to stroke one of the human waitresses hair you’d be in trouble. And frankly a club where people eat while they watch you strut your stuff and they get to put their hand on your tail! Well, I believe humans have a name for that kind of club and it’s not a very nice one!
I was discussing this with Fearless online the other night, he was just back from his latest adventure with Spunky the greatest detective dog since Sherlock Bones (what you thought Sherlock was human? Silly feline). It was kept strictly hush hush, top secret –need to know stuff – we’ll keep it just between you, me, Fearless and the Amazon Kindle store. Fearless was of the opinion that a cat cafe only involved cats and their milk in bowls. Now add to that picture a human chewing on a meatball sub who then tries to rub your fur—well, the rest is best left to your imagination. Got to go I’m emailing the head of Starbucks with an idea for genuinely getting cat stuff into their cafes. I call it a Cattucino, a dash of coffee, a lot of cream, and a generous splash of tuna c’est magnifique!